Knowing when to call it

In a world were we are expected to be perfect and we find ourselves failing to meet that expectation time and time again. It can create feelings of worthlessness, failure, low self-esteem, guilt and shame. We then get in a pattern of fulfilling these ideals that we began to believe about ourselves and look back years later finding ourselves in this place. How do you know when it's time to get yourself out of this pattern and ask someone to help you ? How do you know when its time to invest in yourself even through your lack of confidence ? How would you know the difference between who you are currently and who you were meant to be ?

As a rule of thumb: When I have been in moments "trying to respond" a particular way that felt forced or I became extremely uncomfortable doing something ... most times I found that it wasn't me especially when I found myself questioning if that particular behavior was pleasurable to others and if I would receive the validation I was looking for. There were also times that I realized that I was uncofortable because I was growing and becoming much more than I am now.

What is the difference?